It was 7th grade....12 years old. That was the first time I realized I couldn't see. Squinting. Straining. Blurry vision. Trying to see the teacher's notes projecting on the wall via transparency and the Sharpie black marker. That was actually how I met one of my best friends for life...copying notes off the nice freckle-faced yellow girl who sat near me in every class we had together, since we happened to share the same last name. That's what brought me and Aneatra together. Those notes of hers were a huge reason I was able to maintain my solid A-B average....that's my girl to this day. Hope she still has 20-20.
I avoided telling my parents for years. Instead I went through junior high and most of high school without being able to see. I survived somehow by speaking to anyone who waved in my direction (didn't want to be deemed rude and get jumped after school...or worse, talked about real bad)...and sharing notes. But that wouldn't fly in college. I had to break down and wear glasses, which I only did in class. I took my chances everywhere else, until I got contact lenses.
Vanity. Pure vanity...along with insecurity caused me to neglect my eyes for years. Maybe if I had sounded the alarm early on, my vision would have been corrected long ago. Or maybe they should have MANDATORY eye exams in schools. Just a thought. Sigh.
Yesterday, I went in for my annual eye exam...late since I should have gone in May. I ABHOR going to any type of doctor. I don't like to be poked at and prodded. And it always feels so cold. The eye doctor experience isn't that bad in itself (at least you keep your clothes on...and legs or mouth are not spread eagle!)....but I dread it for another reason. Glasses. Contacts. These are band-aids. Illusions of good vision. But as soon as I take one off, the other MUST be put on, unless I'm going to sleep. I ABHOR being dependent...on anything. And I am. At 37, I am completely dependent on something outside of myself just to see properly. And my annual eye exam continues to highlight that fact.
"We have a slight change of vision...," she pleasantly said. For years, I've had the same prescription in both eyes. Now she says one eye is slightly weaker than the other. Is that what the twitching is about? (No, that's lack of sleep and stress she confirms.) When I asked what I can do to improve my vision, something I've asked previously....there is no definitive answer. No hope. No attempt at hope. Not even "eat your carrots" hope!
I stare at her through blurred eyes, not because I'm not wearing my tinted black square glasses this day, but because she's dropped some disgusting yellow goop into them to check for disease. She murmurs something about enjoying them while we can..."that's the best we can do". SERIOUSLY!?! No. I'm only 37 and you say enjoy my eyes while I can??? That's the best hope you can offer? Wow. I "see", I have to take matters into my own hands. Where's the herbs?? Eye exercises??? I'm not going "lights out" without a fight! sigh.
bite of the day ~ Your overall health, ultimately, is your responsibility. Take action...while you can.
thirtiesgirl
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