March 20, 2013

TO BE YOUNG, GIFTED AND.....afraid.



It's been a day of God whispers...facing internals, and reminders of who I am.

 
I AM GIFTED.
 
...and for many years, I was afraid that I was NOT.  Even now, I have to fight the not-good-enoughness that tries to creep up my spine chased by a paralyzing fear.  A familiar feeling.  It seems from the beginning, my gifting has been under attack....in an effort to derail plan and purpose.  Self-esteem crushers on my tender heels with ugly shouts and less-than yells.   But the true me won't let the crushers get me.  Won't let the gifting go.  I can't. 
 
I AM NOT NORMAL.
 
I will never be satisfied inside "the typical".  Yet, I'm in disguise on the daily.  In the Matrix of commutes and skyscrapers and numbers and corporate lunches and uninteresting elevator small talk.  But I'm awake....and aware.  I've taken the pill and am no longer afraid.
 
That's a lie. 
 
Fear remains.  But as Bishop Jakes said it has to be buried so that The Gift can be exposed.  So, I'll do it afraid.  I've been doing it...afraid.  Selah.
 
 
bite of the day ~ live....inspite of fear. you MUST.





thirtiesgirl