death & life

Two days ago, as I walked down the serene tree-lined street that is my block, I saw a dead rabbit.  A dead BUNNY RABBIT.  I was appalled and sad all at once.  I wanted to turn away....regretting that I was that observant on that particular day. But I had to take just one good look.  Maybe to confirm it was actually dead...or maybe I am just curious about what "death" looks like.  I've seen dead bodies before.  In hospital beds, in caskets...too many funerals to count...but to see a fresh kill.  Before the cleaning up, the fixing up...the pretty-ing up.  Before the blood has turned cold and black. 

This cute little bunny had been crushed...almost split in two by...something.  It's little back paws dangled lifelessly in the street while his head lay on the curb.  In a flash, my analytical mind went to work.  Did he know today would be the day?  The day his speedy dash across a semi-busy street would be the "death" of him?  Did he go instantly...before he knew what hit him?  Or did he feel the last of life leave his little body?

I continued home with a million thoughts running through my mind.  It's amazing how when you pay attention how many lessons you can learn...how many emotions you can have....reactions to what seems like the simplest things.  Roadkill.  The Circle of Life.  An unending cycle.  I've never taken death too well.  It is....abnormal...to me.  To be separated from those you love, even if you know they have made their way into heaven.  The weirdest thing is when someone is killed suddenly.  Upon hearing the news, a common reaction is "But I just saw him!?!  "I just saw her yesterday!"  As if that fact should make a difference.  Shock and disbelief causes all of us to bask in the nonsensical....all the while trying to make sense of the tragedy.  And it is.  Even if the person is in their nineties, like my great-grandmother.  The tragedy of "getting sick" and dying.  That is abnormal....yet normal for us in this society.

Mr. Dead Bunny made me once again acknowledge how much each day is a blessing.  Not to be taken for granted.  Bask in the moment.  In the embrace of a loved one.  In the laugh of a good friend...or enemy.  I am determined to take everything in.  I want to feel life in truth...simply because I can.  Amy Winehouse canNOT any longer. Neither can Bubba.  But I CAN.  And I will one moment at a time.

Yesterday, as I made my way up the same block and onto another....I threw my head back and ate as much air as my lungs would allow.  When I exhaled and concentrated my gaze into my future....across a manicured lawn and into the greenery went a rabbit.  A BUNNY RABBIT!  A living and breathing bunny rabbit!  I smiled...holding back an all out belly laugh and said to the stranger walking by me "Did you see that rabbit!?!"  She didn't respond.  Probably couldn't hear me beyond the blasting earphones plugged in.  Or maybe she just thought I was a crazy.  "You missed it...", I thought. An  unending cycle.  Wow.  I guess life really does go on.  Selah.


bite of the day ~  Live.

thirtiesgirl