April 29, 2014

Life is NOT fair...PERIOD.

Technically, my thirtiesgirl days will be over in a matter of a few months.  I have come to realize that for most of my nearly 40 years on the planet I actually had the faulty mindset that if you live "right", do "right", treat people "right"....life will be smooooth sailing. Think before you act.  Make wise decisions.   Be responsible.  etc etc etc.  All of these things are good and noble and true...a great way to live life.  However, the "LIFE WILL BE SMOOOOTH SAILING" part is where I erred. I literally thought that if I gleaned from the experiences of others..especially my elders, if I stuck to my morals and values, if I was...a good person...and lived life as much as possible to be pleasing to God....I would be able to avoid all MAJOR pitfalls.

pure fantasy!

As a kid, my mother told me if I remembered someone...they would remember me.  We moved around a bit when I was growing up, so I didn't have classmates that I actually went from A-Z with.  But I've always been very heartfelt about friendship.  So after maybe a year or two, I found the number of a classmate who I considered a best friend at my old school.  I felt nervous calling her after so long, but my mother assured me with the advice mentioned above.  So I called.  The girl...ole what's her name... didn't remember me!  HA!  I can laugh about it now, but then, I felt so...unimportant and...forgettable.  My mother still holds that belief to this day..with the addendum "...unless they've been on drugs or had a brain injury or something...".  In other words, OTHER FACTORS can interfere.

other factors?

I never considered "other factors" ...things outside of my control could and eventually would affect my life. After all my SELF-righteous living...proper choice and cautious wise-forward-thinking decision-making (I AM SAGACIOUS)...you can imagine my shock, disdain, otherworldly pain and depression when the tsunami swept through my life...just like everybody else.  At first it was external damage & close calls...but soon the storm was IN THE HOUSE wielding it's mighty power in the intimate corners of my world.  That's when I got the revelation...LIFE IS NOT FAIR.  It just isn't.  Bad things happen to good people.  Friends betray.  Loved ones die. The wounds of life can be deep and sometimes become infected if not properly cared for.  But they can heal.  I've learned....we can HEAL.  


bite of the day ~ Selah.