January 11, 2014

let go...

On New Year's Day, I cleaned out my refrigerator.  Now for the less than handful who have had the pleasure of  digging in my frig, they are now doing the Baptist two-step & leg kick dance.  "Praise da lawd!" lol

Don't get me wrong...I'm not "nasty".  I just, with good intentions, hold on to stuff too long.  And in this case, that can result in a couple of "surprises" buried...in the back....behind my father's bottle of beer that he couldn't finish during his SUMMER visit.  Sigh.  Yeah.  It's a problem.  I didn't know beer expired.  I don't drink the stuff...but I digress.

So the trash bags were filling up, garbage disposal was going, soapy dish water was working it....and in the middle of dumping some old Thai food...I just felt......disgusted with myself.  

"Why the hell do you do this???" 
"Is it the starving children in Africa? Or in the hood?"
"Feel guilty for the waste?  Food....money???"
"WHAT IS IT???" 

In that moment, a knowing that had been creeping up on me for weeks hit me square in the chest.  It was about much more than moldy mac & cheese and year old salad dressing.  See, I'm not "nasty" but I HAD a problem....a problem with letting go. 

I would allow something or someone or some thought or some feeling to take up space in the refrigerator of my life...even when it was no longer good....for me.  As a matter of fact, it would be so past expiration that it was dangerous...poison to my system if I dared to digest it just ONE.....MORE....TIME.  Holding on....to stuff and people and things and mindsets....wayyyy past their shelf life....thinking I can still work with it, can still get it right, can still get something good from it....I can still still still.  NO!!!

Are you judging me?  Nah...surely not.  You may need to go check YOUR "frig".  Or perhaps it's your closet or that digital black book in your cell phone.  Maybe it's that FaceBook "friends" list?  Or maybe you need to roll over and check who you laying next to.  It could even be that negative stank attitude or bad self image or abusive childhood.  I don't know but whatever it is....if it's POISONOUS....


And make room for the FRESH and NEW.


bite of the day ~ It's 2014.  Time to clean "house".