September 29, 2009


Sometimes good enough just is not....good enough. Sometimes what you're giving is everything you have to give at that moment...even if it's still not good enough. Sometimes the intense desire to succeed and "do good" be so heavy that you feel like you're sinking. That's when I have to stop. Just stop. I need a mental, physical and most of all, spiritual recharge.......before I snap.


bite of the day ~ don't be afraid to just STOP. Take a breath. Try. Try Again.


September 24, 2009


A co-signer is someone who "stands" jointly with another person to confirm or guarantee a transaction or even confirm that something is true or valid. A co-signer backs another person up. If they can't pay, the co-signer must.

First of all, I am determined to avoid co-signing on any piece of property or vehicle for anyone, except my love of course...but in that case it would be joint ownership. :-) However, in our daily decisions, I've found that most people, unfortunately including myself, want a co-signer. Why? So we won't have to stand alone. Think about it. One of the reasons most of us want to be in a committed long term relationship is we don't want to go through this life journey ALONE. Someone else is there to take up the emotional, physical, spiritual and financial slack. Hopefully LOVE is involved too. :-)
A person normally doesn't want to drink alone....even if they are with a group of people (who don't drink), they really don't want to be the only one drinking. I've seen people develop friendships over bad habits like smoking, overeating, clubbing every night much. lol! And they really may not have bonded with the person if it were outside of that particular habit...cause they really don't like them that much. Sometimes we want a co-signer on an idea or someone to confirm that we are gifted in a particular area. Someone ELSE has to confirm it for us to believe it. Or maybe I'm just talking about myself. sigh.

Let me clarify....there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting others' opinions or advice about major decisions. That's wise. But when you put too much weight on what other people think in general, especially if it is the complete opposite of what you think, instead of going with your own conscience, spirit or gut (hopefully God is somewhere in your gut!)...that's where the issue lies. If you want to eat healthy, do it...even if the folks in your house are not "co-signing". If you have a dream, go for it....even if no one believes in it but you. If you want to sing (in public) and EVERYONE says you're tone deaf and off-key.......believe them. Sorry. But you get the point. sigh.

bite of the day ~ learn to follow your spirit, stand on your two feet, and take responsibility for your own.


September 16, 2009

compassion? not so much...

Being that all we had in the frig was frozen food, I decided to go to the grocery store and pick up a couple of items. My intention was to drop in and quickly grab bottled water and juice only....but unfortunately, I'm a sucker for BUY ONE GET ONE FREE sales. So 40 plus bucks later, I head back to my vehicle to unload. Out the corner of my eye I see someone approaching....vaguely hearing words come in my direction. A black woman with short curly blondish hair was indeed speaking to me. Being that I live in a major urban city....I'm used to the "begging" hustle. I can literally spot game a mile away. Her first words were "Excuse me...this ain't no homeless stuff or nothing like that....". In a split second I gave her the once over to decide if she was getting a penny out of me. Mouth in desperate need of a dentist visit....walking on the back of what was most likely house shoes...and last but not least, a cheesy "I don't mean no harm" grin with words spilling out way too quickly. I smelled a lie, so I stopped her mid-sentence. "I don't have any cash on me, if that's what you're about to ask." She nodded with a laugh, said that was exactly what she needed and moved on to the next possible....sucker?
Now don't get me wrong. I give, not only through my church and my job, but to folks on the street, train....wherever. My favorite is a gentleman who sings reggae on the train. He's loud, gifted and makes my ride home from work just a little more interesting. AND he's not just asking for money.....he's giving a service (entertainment). I can respect that, which is why he gets my donation everytime.
Now, I'm suspicious by nature, but the more street-wise I become, the more skeptical. This is not necessarily a good thing.

I watched as "blondie" worked the parking lot, telling her story...even at one point pulling out her I.D. trying to prove her sincerity. As skeptical as I've become, I always feel a little bad for not giving to everyone who asks. Did I mis-judge this lady? Maybe she really did need money for something legit? Maybe she's not like the guy working the Popeyes drive-thru begging for .75 for bus fare to get home....only to give the same story a month later, but this time he was 20 lbs lighter. Crack kills. Sigh.

bite of the day ~ don't let the crooks of the world taint you and your natural impulse to do good. show compassion, even to those who may not deserve it. the good will come back to you!


September 14, 2009


I want to travel the world. To never leave my own city, state....or country for that matter...UNTHINKABLE! After going back and forth about this year's vacation, love and I decided to hop in a rental and hit the highway. I absolutely adore road trips! Great transpo, music, conversation....and of course, great company makes for a fabulous time. After visiting family in Georgia and Alabama, we settled in New Orleans for a few days of fun and relaxation. To be honest, I was slightly nervous, as I didn't know what to expect. I recently attended a play where they were still collecting donations for N.O. residents affected by Hurricane Katrina. Of course, as we drove over the bridge into the city, we could see the scars left by the disaster. Damaged buildings, abandoned businesses, broken homes. The four star hotel we stayed in didn't seem to sustain any lasting damage, based on the lobby. But when we entered our room, there was a distinct odor....moldy...mildewy...old wet. Although they had replaced all of the carpet and furniture, the moisture locked in the walls gave away the secret. Damaged goods. The next room was a lot better. We hit Bourbon Street in the French Quarter the next day. I was anxious to walk down the same streets as the likes of Louis Armstrong and Tennessee Williams.....wanted to be captivated by the music and the art. Unfortunately, the first part of The Quarter we hit was the T & A section. Naked girls...liquor....more naked girls....more liquor. Now I know New Orleans is known for Mardi Gras and just partying in general...but in my naivety, I didn't anticipate bare titties and unmentionables in open view on the street. Silly me. Surely there is more to New Orleans than this! There is. We continued our exploration to find the arts district where there was not only quaint little shops (...Cafe Du Monde...YUM!), an open square/garden and a museum...but serious artists were on the street creating everything from portraits to bold paintings of New Orleans life. One such artist said her daughter had taught her the basics of the art just a few months earlier....and her work was good! I had to wonder whether it was a natural gift or whether she was exaggerating a bit in the name of salesmanship. lol! One thing I observed was the people, although scarred by the recent past, still had a pocket of life and freedom...even if it was only for the brief moments they broke out in a step to the music from the street band on the corner....or maybe it was just the cheap beer. Who knows.

bite of the day ~ visit a place you've never gone before. even if it's not your cup of tea, open your heart and mind to experience the beauty in it.