When I started this post yesterday, it was about something a bit different. Which proves my point perfectly. sigh.
Something I've known for a long time slaps me in the face every now and then....feelings are fickle. I mean, really. One moment you feel like you are about to explode with....(insert an emotion)....and the next, you're fine. One moment you feel like you have to say or do something to or with someone...and the next, poof. That's exactly why we should NOT follow our feelings. A lot of us don't know the difference between following our "heart" and those fickle feelings. Heart to me means "spirit". And if your heart or spirit is jacked, even for that moment, it's not a good idea to follow it either. That is until you've had some quiet time with God and gotten your bearings.
Something I've known for a long time slaps me in the face every now and then....feelings are fickle. I mean, really. One moment you feel like you are about to explode with....(insert an emotion)....and the next, you're fine. One moment you feel like you have to say or do something to or with someone...and the next, poof. That's exactly why we should NOT follow our feelings. A lot of us don't know the difference between following our "heart" and those fickle feelings. Heart to me means "spirit". And if your heart or spirit is jacked, even for that moment, it's not a good idea to follow it either. That is until you've had some quiet time with God and gotten your bearings.
I know I can be an emotionally crazy person. Yet, thank God, I've learned how to ride out my feelings over the years and not act in the moment. This is both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes I feel so...not free. So inhibited. Repressed even. I have to think EVERYTHING out....I have to weigh the consequences in practically every situation. If I SAY this, that will happen. If I DO this, that will happen. If I THINK this....that will happen.
If I...if I....if I....then...then...then. ARGGGHHHH!!!!
Sometimes, I wish I could just be that person that DOES now and THINKS later. Throw caution to the wind....walk on the wild side....rebel against the world....nay. I actually care too much. I care about my life...my future...my choices...my decisions...and their impact on others.
Responsibility. Obligation. Can I let just a little bit of that go? Sigh.
Yet today, I sit here with almost zombie-like feelings. This is new. The place I'm at, the things I've experienced....have left me RAW. Numb. But right under the surface...with even a small poke or slight slice of the skin....sensitive ultra tender fleshy me is revealed. I'm in a bubble of a life right now...seeing, observing but not fully feeling the impact in the moment. I imagine it's like a woman having a child with an epidural....she doesn't feel the pain of the delivery....until the medicine wears off...then BOOM! I'm at the last of the shot...with the blast not too far behind. I'm bracing myself.
bite of the day ~ pray.
thirtiesgirl
Yet today, I sit here with almost zombie-like feelings. This is new. The place I'm at, the things I've experienced....have left me RAW. Numb. But right under the surface...with even a small poke or slight slice of the skin....sensitive ultra tender fleshy me is revealed. I'm in a bubble of a life right now...seeing, observing but not fully feeling the impact in the moment. I imagine it's like a woman having a child with an epidural....she doesn't feel the pain of the delivery....until the medicine wears off...then BOOM! I'm at the last of the shot...with the blast not too far behind. I'm bracing myself.
bite of the day ~ pray.
thirtiesgirl
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