lessons from the golden pair

I was but a girl of 7 or 8 when it happened....a shiny brown girl walking down 51st street with a grin as big as the moon.  Hand in hand with my sweet cocoa mother I walked. Excited because we were on our way to find a brand new pair of shoes!  It wasn't everyday that a girl could go shopping for a shiny new pair....especially since Daddy was no longer there.  In the house, I mean.  Sure, Easter was coming up which was cause for the occasion...but her intention was to grab a pair to wear way beyond that day.  Functional, they call it.  

Well, all of that went out the window when I spotted THEM.  A perfect little pair of golden slippers...with no less than a string bow near the toe.  It was as if they were made just for me....destined to hug MY toes & soles and no other...like Cinderella....or even Dorothy (think The Wiz....not The Wizard of Oz...lol).  So after trying to convince me to go with a more "sensible" color like black, my mother finally conceded and allowed me to have my golden shoes which I put on right away.

My first love affair.  Beautiful.  I was gorgeous and dainty and cute and lovely....when me and my golden pair were together. That's how they made me feel. I wore them everyday (that she would let me!)  And when I wasn't wearing them, I was playing with them, looking at them...always had them near.  And everything felt right in my world...for awhile.  Then I began to notice the fit was becoming a little snug.  Uncomfortable.  Nevertheless, I continued to slip them on day after day....after day.  Through the growing discomfort and then downright pain, I would not stop wearing my beloved shoes! J'adore!  One day, I could no longer hide from my mother that I was outgrowing the golden pair, as she inquired whether they were tight.  I lied.  "Oh no!  They're fine.  They feel good!" I wasn't ready to end it just yet. 

And I never would be.  I was finally forced  to face that the affair was OVER.  I had grown and where I was going...the golden slippers could not. And not because I did not love them anymore (J'adore!)...but because our affair had turned sour long before into something hurtful...painful.  They were no longer good for me and I had not wanted to face it....but eventually, I had to let go.  Had to find gorgeous and dainty and cute and lovely without them.  When I finally did, the scars left behind were evidence that I had held on way too long.  And some scars never go away...(no matter how much Dr. Scholl's you use).

Thinking back to me and those golden slippers, it was a foreshadowing of things to come....a peek into my personality that was there from the start.  A trait that would bring me joy & pain, pleasure & sorrow.  Immense sorrow.

bite of the day ~  IT'S SO HARD TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO YESTERDAY....but sometimes, you have to.  Selah.

thirtiesgirl