September 24, 2009

co-signers

A co-signer is someone who "stands" jointly with another person to confirm or guarantee a transaction or even confirm that something is true or valid. A co-signer backs another person up. If they can't pay, the co-signer must.

First of all, I am determined to avoid co-signing on any piece of property or vehicle for anyone, except my love of course...but in that case it would be joint ownership. :-) However, in life...in our daily decisions, I've found that most people, unfortunately including myself, want a co-signer. Why? So we won't have to stand alone. Think about it. One of the reasons most of us want to be in a committed long term relationship is we don't want to go through this life journey ALONE. Someone else is there to take up the emotional, physical, spiritual and financial slack. Hopefully LOVE is involved too. :-)
A person normally doesn't want to drink alone....even if they are with a group of people (who don't drink), they really don't want to be the only one drinking. I've seen people develop friendships over bad habits like smoking, overeating, clubbing every night or...shopping...too much. lol! And they really may not have bonded with the person if it were outside of that particular habit...cause they really don't like them that much. Sometimes we want a co-signer on an idea or someone to confirm that we are gifted in a particular area. Someone ELSE has to confirm it for us to believe it. Or maybe I'm just talking about myself. sigh.

Let me clarify....there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting others' opinions or advice about major decisions. That's wise. But when you put too much weight on what other people think in general, especially if it is the complete opposite of what you think, instead of going with your own conscience, spirit or gut (hopefully God is somewhere in your gut!)...that's where the issue lies. If you want to eat healthy, do it...even if the folks in your house are not "co-signing". If you have a dream, go for it....even if no one believes in it but you. If you want to sing (in public) and EVERYONE says you're tone deaf and off-key.......believe them. Sorry. But you get the point. sigh.


bite of the day ~ learn to follow your spirit, stand on your two feet, and take responsibility for your own.

thirtiesgirl

2 comments:

  1. This is such a fun site. Deeper than I thought. I am not on many sites to often but had to check this out. Great job! I like that in your profile that you say "most of us thought we would have been over certain humps", that is certainly something I thought too. But, it creeps up on me every so often. One of my issues is what you talk about concerning Co-Signers; truth...but sad too. As if looking for validation from someone gives us the ammunition we need to conquer. I find that when I listen to someone else besides the Holy Ghost, the high of conquering and being on top of the world is very short lived. So, then I have to call and ask "now what do I do with what I feel now". I am not opposed to talking with someone who has accomplished what I want to accomplish or have been married WAY longer than me or have kids like me. But the matters of my heart are just that. Matters of "my" heart. Ultimately I am the one to deal with the consequences of my decisions. There are times I cannot think straight and feel like I need someone from the outside to look in and tell me what they see. Some call that venting...but as long as who you are venting to has the Lord, one should watch what they say. Conversations should end in "I am gonna pray for you" and not "girl, you should....." things that are against who you are as a woman of God. You ended on a good note..."go for it". In a way you co-signed for me. Makes me wanna keep pressing. Now, that is a GREAT example of co-singing. More like in-spiring :) thanks for your thoughts!

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  2. Great post Mai:-)! In the workplace, co-signing can be DANGEROUS! I often see it when someone, or a group of people, becomes disenchanted with working there. They hate the boss, they hate their position, they hate their office, or lack thereof (or all of the above)! They can never just keep their feelings to themselves. They want a "co-signer" to complain with in the staff lounge. Hanging around these people will bring your mood WAY down and cause you to be unhappy with a job/boss that you were once VERY satisfied with. And "office gossip" always gets around, so you could end up getting fired over it!

    My motto- "Don't co-sign to anyone else's drama"!

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